Thursday, December 29, 2011

I predict

1. There will be a Presidential election next year.
a. I will vote for the lesser of two evils, as I have done since 1972.
b. By the time I cast my vote, I will have been bored out of my skull by the inane and incessant coverage of the campaign, and I will be sad and angry about the state of American democracy.

2. There will be more "books" published than ever before.
a. More than 50% of "copies" sold will be digital downloads.
b. Less than 1% will be worth reading.

3. The media will report on a number of significant new trends.
a. The reports will be thinly veiled advertorials written by educated hacks, boosters, and savants.
b. None of the trends will be worth following.

4. The Olympics will take place in London.
a. Televised coverage will be mawkish, fragmentary, and jingoistic.
b. The games will have no discernible impact on the cultural life of America.

5. It will be harder to remember anything.
a. Very few things will happen worth remembering.
b. And those things I can google.

6. People will continue to debate the existence of God.
a. God will not appear to settle the debate.
b. Most people won't care. They'll be spending their time trying to live in the here and now.

7. The world's population will increase.
a. There will be fewer white people as a percentage of the total.
b. This will make white people even more nervous and xenophobic than they are now.

8. The cost of living will go up.
a. It will still be economical enough to keep going.
b. The quality of life will be, as it is now, almost entirely independent of the cost of living.

9. There will be hurricanes, monsoons, earthquakes, mudslides, eruptions, blizzards, and droughts.
a. Credulous people will regard these phenomena as signs of impending doom. They will ask the rhetorical question, "Who says there's no such thing as climate change?"
b. Rational people will regard these phenomena as variant behaviors of a complex and unpredictable natural system.

10. On December 21, 2012, the world will not end.
a. Most people will hide their disappointment.
b. This will not prevent some people from continuing to make predictions about when the world will end.

2 comments:

  1. I haven't read your posts in a while. (I got overwhelmed with blogs. Ha Ha. I write one myself.) Now that the major book review outlets (NYT, WP, LAT, etc) have become so boring and compared to internet sites, behind the times, I have a new weekend ritual. I read through my blog bookmarks. So I am back! You are not a very cheery guy but you almost always nail the actual current scene. I realized this morning that you remind me of my dad. Happy New Year.

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  2. Happy New Year to you too, Judy. Thanks for the lovely note.

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