Why I like the internet.

When people ask me why I like the internet, here are the reasons I give them:

1. It saves me an incredible amount of time when doing research.
2. It allows me to stay in touch with all my friends no matter where they are or what time it is.
3. It keeps me up-to-date on all the news, including stock quotes and sports scores. It's as though I'm really connected to the world.
4. It enables me to buy things with a couple of mouse-clicks -- without leaving my desk.
5. It allows me to share files, music, photos, documents, and videos easily and inexpensively.
6. It replaces my whole reference library and it's portable.

Here are my real reasons for liking the internet:

1. It remembers everything for me -- now I just have to remember to look things up.
2. It helps do my writing for me by allowing me to cut-and-paste whatever I find.
3. It lets me download all kinds of content for free, even if it costs somebody else to produce it.
4. It allows me to express my opinion in public anonymously. Even if I'm illiterate and/or psychotic.
5. It enables me to stalk past acquaintances or perfect strangers, especially ones who don't want to have anything to do with me.
6. I'm always only two clicks away from a decent hand-job.